JOHANNESBURG - Sexual grooming does not just start with physical intimacy.
It begins with attention, affection, gift-giving, and slowly building trust before boundaries are crossed.
This is according to psychologist Vuyolwethu Tuluma, as she explained the sensitivity of this act.
Tuluma said that sexual grooming is never just one isolated event; it's a pattern.
She was speaking at the back of the recent arrest of suspended Deputy National Commissioner Shadrack Sibiya over sexual offence charges.
READ | Witness intimidation, possible escape: Sibiya sent to Kgosi Mampuru
Sibiya faces five charges, including rape, trafficking in persons, promoting the sexual grooming of a child and two counts of sexual grooming of a child.
One of his alleged victims is an 18-year-old woman who was allegedly raped at a hotel in Sandton in May.
There is also an incident involving the alleged sexual grooming of a 16-year-old girl between July and August 2026.
Tuluma said the sexual grooming can not be easily recognised because the perpetrator, at most times, works on establishing a relationship that seems trusting and safe for the victim.
READ | Shadrack Sibiya charged with rape, child sexual grooming and human trafficking
“They [victim] see this person as a father figure, as someone who's responsible.”
Tuluma said each case is different, but if it happens, it's commonly in safe spaces.
“It's an enormous thing that happens to you; it breaks your trust in adults; it could even possibly break your trust in me as a clinician.”
Sibiya made a brief appearance before the Randburg Magistrate's Court on Tuesday afternoon, where his matter was postponed to 29 September for a formal bail application.
The NPA said the State requested a seven-day postponement to allow for the enrolment and hearing of a formal bail application, which the State will oppose.